Parisian Pickpockets

Let me start this story by swearing on all the macarons in France that I am not making up one iota of this. With that disclaimer out of the way, let me tell you about the time I almost got pickpocketed on the Paris metro.

I did everything they tell you to do on crowded, foreign, public transportation. I wore a cross-body purse and kept my hand over the clasp, making sure to look casual and not paranoid. I kept my mouth shut so that my language and accent didn’t mark me as a tourist. I slung a hand over a railing, didn’t look anyone in the eye, and generally put up an air of someone who had been taking the metro all my life.

And then three people situated themselves at the door. There was one woman, small and unassuming, clutching a map of the city and speaking rapid-fire French, frantically asking her companions if they were heading the right way. Tourists, I assumed, and didn’t give it a second thought. Then one of the men started pacing up and down the crowded train, forcing several women with heavy suitcases to scramble to find an out-of-the way spot. Myself and one of my friends were shoved into the third person, a ridiculous tall and bulky man that took up most of the aisle. A few seconds later I felt a tug on my shoulder-strap, and with a startled shout, I shoved the man away and retreated into a corner of the train, searching my opened bag to make sure nothing had been stolen. Phone, wallet, money, keys, metro card. Thank God.

The three got off at the next stop, glancing nervously at my friend and I, like they were expecting us to whip out our phones and call the cops then and there. In hindsight, maybe we should have. They probably got someone else’s wallet on the next train.

So this is something that you need to know. You can’t focus on making yourself not-a-target. You’ll just be constantly stressed that your voice is too loud, that your French is too slow, that your jeans are too American. This is what I was worried about before coming to Paris, pouring through my closet and only packing the neutrals, the well cut, the modest. Do you want to blend in because you want to experience a new culture and you think you’ll have a more authentic experience? Great! Do you want to blend in because if you don’t you’ll be a target for train thieves? Well then, your cultural foray is for the wrong reasons.

Far more important than blending in, in my opinion, is to know yourself. Sit down and think about how you respond in a crisis. After the pickpocketing incident, I spent a long time wondering what I would have done if my phone was missing when I looked through my purse. Would I have gone up to the giant of a man and confronted him in broken French? Made a scene on the train to alert other passengers? Taken a picture of him and sent it to the authorities? Or just clammed up and not done anything? I still don’t really know.

Here’s a more practical tip. If people start acting weird in the metro, keep a close eye on your bags.