Overall, this study abroad experience was amazing. I had the chance to visit so many places, see so many things and experience a different lifestyle. Through most of my blog posts I’ve talked about the fun and different things I’ve gotten to do. Reading back over these, I’ve realized that there is only one thing that I left out, and it is probably the biggest thing that influenced my experience and that changed me coming back to the states. This was the other people I met there.
One of the biggest draws of studying abroad is meeting people from different backgrounds. While I was living in Switzerland, I was placed in exchange student dorm housing. I was living with people from China, Korea, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Italy, South Africa, and many other places. Going into this experience, I expected to be able to compare cultures and learn about the differences. I hoped everyone was going to be open minded as we were all exchange students living in a different countries. Sadly, I was mistaken. Turns out, bringing people together of different backgrounds does make them more tolerant, but it also brings out the worst of their racism. It may have just been the group dynamic, where a majority of the exchange students were from one country causing that cultural presence to be dominant; however, never in my life have I seen so much racism in one place. It wasn’t a comparison of cultures and mutual respect, but a blame game. The kitchen was dirty because Asian people don’t know how to clean. The place was loud because Irish people drink too much. X didn’t like Y because Y was Christian. People were calling each other things that were completely offensive in that person’s culture, but it was okay because it was fine to say in the name caller’s culture.
Studying abroad and living in a different culture doesn’t make everyone tolerant or understanding. Discrimination is still a problem everywhere, with everyone. You are not escaping it by studying abroad. You could, like me, find yourself surrounded by the immense hypocrisy of someone saying that they’re not going to follow the host country’s social standards because their foreign one second, then being offended that someone mispronounced a English word the second. I even started seeing this in myself when I got tired of trying. Some days I came home and just didn’t want to try anymore. When going outside to do anything is a constant struggle to fit in with another culture, coming home and trying to be tolerant is hard. Coming home to weird smells, different languages, and different forms of being polite is difficult when you’re tired or sick and just wanna collapse. After a couple months it became a constant struggle to not fall back to American habits and be annoyed at non-Americans for the things they were doing differently. A lot of exchange students did this and the living situation became more and more stressful.
In contrast to everyone else, I had a constant reminder to be as tolerant as I could be. During my time in Switzerland, the 2016 American election was taking place. While politics are generally kept fairly private in America, internationally, it is very common to ask people about their politics. As the world is highly invested in American politics, everywhere I went I was asked about my politics and about Trump. The most common question I received was “how could you possibly be that stupid as to elect Trump.” Every time I was asked this question I wanted to scream that I was not personally in charge of electing the president and just because I was the only American they knew did not mean that I was solely responsible for what was happening in my country. With the racially charged nature of a lot of this election, I was constantly reminded of what happens if cultures don’t meld but clash. It was a constant headache. I never considered myself a political person until this exchange, and I still hate talking about politics; however, this much reminder of what was happening back at home reminded me every day that I couldn’t let myself cave to being intolerant. I would never forgive myself if I was the one of the few Americans any of these people met and I was rude. America’s reputation is so bad right now that I didn’t want that sour taste to define who I was to everyone I met. This has definitely affected who I am.
Coming back to America I am incredibly careful about what I say now. I’m not going to say I’m an insanely tolerant person because I don’t believe I am; however, hopefully I have become slightly more so. And while this sounds like a good trait to have, this experience affected me in other ways. I was absolutely miserable most of the time I spent in my housing. I couldn’t handle the racism being thrown around at me and other people while everyone was criticizing my country for being culturally intolerant. I’ve learned to spend time by myself traveling now. Before leaving for Switzerland I always did things with other people. In Switzerland, I was too tired to do things with other people, so I did a lot more by myself. I also learned that the world isn’t as tolerant as I thought it was, and I’m not tolerant either. Everyone is racist and sexist and bigoted whether they like it or not. You can pretend all you want that you’re different, but deep down we all are. The only way to be better than racist is to actively try fighting your own racism. I’ve learned that I need to know I’m racist in order to not be, and this is what I’ve brought back to America.
A lot of students talk about study abroad as if it is a magical life changing experience that will leave you completely thrilled and cause you to become a wonderful person. While I did love visiting Switzerland and got to see so many amazing places, I didn’t feel like I was accurately representing my experience without talking about how horribly depressed I was while there. I don’t think most people coming off exchange have become a wonderful person because of it. You are bound to learn things while abroad; however, a study abroad isn’t going to fix all your flaws.
All my blog posts have been positive. All the blog posts written by students are positive. While you hear about things like culture shock and other “negatives” you don’t really think about them until you’re there. And from what I could tell from the other exchange students, many people just choose to ignore the complexities of these problems. They pretend to be happy all the time because it is a waste otherwise. You can’t be tired and not go out because you’re in another country and are missing out on a once in a lifetime experience.
Study abroad doesn’t make your life magical, you’re just living in a different place. You still have to deal with all the annoying things in the world. You still have emotions. You’re not going to feel happy every day and that’s okay. Every day I was unhappy and didn’t feel like going outside while in Switzerland I felt like I was letting myself down. I was wasting the experience. This was one of the biggest things I learned about myself. I learned that I shouldn’t force myself to be happy all the time. I shouldn’t be okay with things and hide my feelings because that’s not going to make me happy. People are still racist, classes are still hard, you still get sick and tired. Nothing is that different. While I would still recommend studying abroad to anyone interested, I believe that everyone should know these things going in. Study abroad isn’t always life inspiring. It’s life in a different place. No matter how much you love what you’re doing and the place you’re in, it’s still life. Expect all the things that come with that.
