A Feminist Rant

I don’t typically think of myself as a feminist; in fact, I avidly argue that I am as far away as someone can get from being a feminist. Being a feminist nowadays has such a bad stigma associated with it, so no self-respecting, independent woman would ever identify as such, right? Wrong. I have slowly come to realize that being a feminist does not mean you support women breaking the housewife tradition and bulldozing their way into a high powered career. It does not mean that you support a woman’s right to dress or behave promiscuously or conservatively. It means that you support a woman’s right to do whatever she wants, whether that be a stay at home mom, a career oriented individual, or anything in between. It means that you support a woman’s decision to dress and behave in whatever manner suits her, whether that be shorts and a t-shirt or a hijab and an abaya. It is about respecting the decisions of another individual, regardless of what they may be, and trying to understand their reasoning before making any judgments.
I usually stray away from taking public stances on issues such as this, believing that it is typically not worth the argument that will inevitably ensue because someone is bound to get offended. However, as a female that is constantly struggling with finding that even balance, I feel that it is important to note that it is not easy, and our society is not always supportive, but it is possible to be a feminist without being a “radical hippie.” For me, it only took a trip to Jordan to finally realize this. Despite how modern Jordan may be compared to the other countries in the region, that by no means compares to the rights and freedoms we are allotted in the States. As I found myself trying to give directions to a taxi driver that would actively ignore me until a male counterpart repeated what I had jut said, I realized I was no longer in the United States. As I walked out of my apartment to go to class each morning in loose, long pants, a loose fitting shirt that covered my chest and my elbows, and some sort of cover or scarf in 90+ degree weather, I couldn’t help but envy the guys in shorts and a t-shirt. I am someone who actively does things on her own. I have developed a “figure it out” mindset in which I rely solely on myself if I ever need to get something done. However, I have also travelled enough to understand that I will need to adjust my behaviors and my mindset to fit the region I am in. This does not necessarily mean that I am losing myself, but rather that I am being safe, culturally sensitive and aware. Having to ask one of the males on the trip to walk to the grocery store with me “just to be safe,” although a strange concept for me, has thus become something I understand I should do.
Although I could write a novel about all of my experiences as a Western woman in the Middle East, what it all boils down to is that I have discovered just how truly lucky I am to have grown up in the States. While we undoubtedly have our own gender issues, I personally feel more comfortable tackling these issues at home than I do here (at least for right now). Here, I am just trying to fit in and learn as much as possible. And I have learned. I have met some of the most amazing women during my time in Jordan and, through them, have been able to shatter some of my own presumptions. My professors at Qasid University are some of the most incredible women I have had the pleasure of learning from. They not only taught me Arabic, but also expanded my mind to the lifestyle and culture of Jordan, the Middle East, and Islam. Although, of course, people interpret the Quran differently, most people view their religion as a source of hope and a guideline for how to be a better person. One of my professors, for example, compared her hijab to the wearing of a cross around one’s neck. Another professor has travelled around the world on her own and has a husband who adores her, cooks and cleans for her, and loves her unconditionally. So, despite what some Westerns would like to believe, the Middle East is far more advanced than the media often portrays it to be.