One of the best and healthiest decisions I made for myself when thinking about going abroad was to study in a different city than any of my best friends. There were times I doubted that it was the right decision but I knew in my heart that I needed to distance myself from them to have the best experience. And here’s why you should do the same.
You’ll make friends
The idea of making friends was my biggest fear coming to New Zealand. I didn’t think I would find anyone who I would establish a genuine connection with, but that is the complete opposite of what happened. By the end of the first week I had found bunches of people that I enjoyed spending time with and now I couldn’t imagine my abroad experience if I hadn’t met them.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely uncomfortable to put yourself out there especially if you’re not super extroverted. But, here all of the abroad students have been through at least a year and a half of college and are used to meeting new people. It’s different than when you were a freshman entering your first semester of university because then you were probably 18 and still figuring out who you were. You were used to your bubble that you grew up in and hadn’t been forced to learn who you were outside of everything you knew. In my experience, I am a lot more confident in myself and my abilities to jump into a conversation with new people. As I’ve gotten older I’m also better at telling who I mesh well with. I understand that I won’t be best friends with everyone I meet and that’s perfectly normal.
Anyways, wherever you go you will make friends. I promise. Most everyone is in the same boat and looking for people to hang out with for the semester. My advice is to be yourself and you will find friends. Don’t try to impress others or be someone you think they’ll like. Just stay calm and you’ll find your people soon enough!
It will push you to go outside your comfort zone
In my opinion, going abroad is all about challenging yourself. So, bearing that in mind I knew what I had to do when deciding between going to Auckland where my best friend was headed vs. Christchurch. I love my best friend. She doesn’t go to Northeastern so I thought it would be cool to do a semester together in the same city. However, I know that when I’m near her I tend to not step outside of my comfort zone and meet new people.
Over a month into my program I have met some of the coolest people ever because I was forced outside of my comfort zone. I now have friends from all over the world and we do everything together. We grocery shop, hike, go to class, are on an intramural ultimate frisbee team, and more. My best friend has not been and never will be replaced but I know that both of us are having great times meeting new people and challenging ourselves to open up to.
You won’t feel obligated to hang out with your best friends
Being with any one person 24/7 gets tiring. Especially with someone who knows you better than yourself. So, one of the biggest pros about not studying at the same university as your best friend is you don’t feel obligated to hang out with them all the time or be in the same friend group.
If you study abroad by yourself, there’s no expectation that you will be equally as attached to the hip with your best friend while you’re away. As silly as this may sound, abroad is the time to focus on yourself. You don’t need drama between you and a friend because you go on different trips on weekends or they feel like you’re not spending enough time with them one on one. That’s totally fine if that’s what you normally do but this is the time to break away from your habits and be spontaneous.
You shouldn’t be worrying about your best friend’s feelings all the time. This may sound strange and kind of harsh but it’s true. If you go abroad with your best friend you will probably be worried how they’re feeling if you go grab a beer with someone and don’t invite them. It’s honestly easier and healthier for you and your friend to take a break and have a great semester without them.
You’ll still be best friends when you get back
Whether your best friend is also going abroad or not, you will still be best friends when you get back to the United States. If your friendship is that tight then one semester apart should not break it. You will certainly miss them like I do my friends, but with all the technology available I have been able to keep in touch quite often. And if you’re lucky like me and your friend is close by you can visit them during the semester.
Also, remember that they won’t be able to replace you that quickly even if they wanted to. Friendships take time to develop and they won’t be able to find someone who they like more than you in such a short amount of time.
Lastly, if you both make new friends while apart you can introduce them to each other and have even more friends! It’s a win win situation for everyone.
Choose wisely
If you’re still on the fence about going abroad with your best friend, know that I was too. It’s not an easy decision but I know it would have been a completely different experience if I were to have lived 400 meters from my best friend. I wouldn’t have met the amazing people who I call my friends or experienced everything I have in the past month or so.
Believe in yourself and take a leap of faith. I didn’t regret it one bit and neither will you!
Thanks for reading!
