The opportunity to live and study internationally for a semester is hard to say no to. The opportunity to visit a friend or family member studying abroad may be the second best thing, and equally hard to pass up. For that reason, you may very well have a visitor in your time abroad and suddenly be thrown into a position of great responsibility: tour guide.
After having my dad, a friend, and then my boyfriend visit – all three of different ages, cultures, and personalities – I have become a pretty adept and flexible tour guide. I have had some successes and I have made some mistakes, which you can learn from. I would now like to guide you on guiding your loved ones around Rome.
First of all, consider who you will be guiding. Where are they from? How old are they? Have they travelled much in the past? I knew that my middle-aged, American, very religious Dad would want to focus on the Vatican and religious history of the city. On the other hand, my friend Carla who grew up in Europe and has been to Rome before, is studying museum management. Because of that, I knew to focus more on the offbeat museums of Rome when she was here.
Before making concrete plans or even suggestions, it is a very good idea to simply ask what your guest would like to do. Maybe they have already done much of their own research and have their heart set on seeing a few specific things. Maybe they barely even know where they are travelling to and want you to take the wheel on making the itinerary. Either way, feeling this out will help a lot in making sure your guests don’t miss anything at the tops of their lists.
Another consideration is to know your budget and the budget of your guest. When my Dad visited, I knew that I would have the luxury of him treating me, so I strategically selected some restaurants and museums I couldn’t afford myself. When my boyfriend Pablo visited from Guatemala, I knew that his budget would be tighter than mine because of the conversation rate from Guatemalan quetzals to euros, so I tried to avoid anything too extravagant. When my friend Carla, a university student in Bologna, came to see me, I knew that our budgets would be similar. While finances (unfortunately) are necessary to consider, they don’t have to make or break your experience. You can experience the vibe and culture of a city and have a fantastic time together on a tight budget – it just might take a little extra planning and creativity. If you plan to travel around by plane or train and if you want to stay in hostels or hotels, I recommend booking everything as far in advance as possible. It will save you money and also give you peace of mind.
After defining what style of activities your guest might be interested in, try to remember what your favorite experiences have been so far. Because your “tour” will be built primarily upon your personal experiences and opinions, I recommend spending some time in the city to explore it for yourself before inviting others to join you. That way, you will already know what restaurants, piazzas, museums, etc. are your favorite and which aren’t worth the effort. Best of all, you will know some secret back-alley spots to bring your guests to show off your “local” status. For example, a friend of mine showed me a lesser-known attraction on one of Rome’s hills in which you can look through a keyhole that perfectly frames St. Peter’s basilica. I showed all three of my guests this spot and was happy to find that they were all impressed.
As an obsessive planner who is constantly anxious about missing any sight or experience (it’s something I’m working on), I did make the mistake of assuming that my guests would come with the same mentality. After coming up with a list of things I wanted to show them, I would get stressed if we left anything out. I started to realize that, in order for everyone to enjoy what we were seeing and doing, we needed a proper amount of time to simply relax. Sometimes that meant leaving an hour later. Sometimes that meant spending a whole day watching movies in bed. Either way, quality can be important than quantity and rest and relaxation can improve quality.
One of my most important pieces of advice is not to put too much pressure on yourself. You’re not actually a guide who is being paid to lead a grand Roman tour. You are a generous friend, girlfriend, and daughter who wants to share your time and experience with those you love. If you miss a train because of a scheduling error, like I did with my dad, or if you book a hotel for the wrong month, as I did with my boyfriend, don’t fall apart. You are already taking so much on by inviting your guest and offering to be the planner. If you are overwhelmed and make a mistake, they will understand. (My visitors did.)
Also, don’t forget to enjoy! I had the chance to bond with my Dad over dinner and wine in a way we never had before. My boyfriend and I, although we were caught in some stressful situations, grew closer than ever and created some memories that will last us a lifetime. And I got to reconnect with a friend who I hadn’t seen in four years because of a lucky coincidence. Travelling can be so personally enriching, but when you travel with friends and family, your relationship can grow as well.
And, lastly, don’t put your whole life on hold for your guests. Don’t start skipping classes. Don’t neglect your homework. Run your errands, do your laundry, and get enough sleep. Your loved ones will understand that you can’t be wearing your tour guide hat 24/7. AND, as I learned from a past experience, it might be best to not invite guests who can be extremely picky, irritable, and inflexible. Hosting a friend or family member is an act of generosity and love, not an obligation!
