What It’s Really Like Living With a Host Family

After one month of living in Spain with a host family, I have a lot of opinions. These opinions are sure to evolve as my time here passes, but I think all those who are considering a host family as an option when going abroad should be sure to consider all these factors. To give a little bit of a backstory, in my program over 90% of the students live with a host family. Therefore, I didn’t think too much about my decision when I agreed to live with a family of strangers for 4 months. I grew up speaking both Spanish and English in my house as well, so I thought the adjustment would not be that hard for me. We were also all given a survey to fill out with our preferences for what kind of host family we wanted. I told my program I preferred a family with kids near my age and my reasoning behind this was because I was hoping to be able to form friendships with these kids and spend time with them. I went into this process without giving too much thought into what I was getting myself into. Which is why I wanted to share these experiences and pieces of advice for anyone else either currently going through this or contemplating a host family for their future travels.

Let’s begin with the “cons” to living with a host family. These cons are not necessarily a bad thing, they simply are the things that I have struggled to adjust to in my new home. I will start by giving you my personal experience so far. As I mentioned, I chose to live with a family consisting of two children and one mom. Something to consider when you live with a family that has young children is that your family will be very, very busy. You will not always be their priority and that is okay, it is just something to consider when you make this decision. This means that some days my host mom forgot to do my laundry to the point where I ran out of socks or where she did not have time to cook me a full dinner and I had to eat something that I did not like. None of this is my host mom’s fault, it just was something I was not used to because in college I am very used to being self-sufficient and handling these tasks on my own. That being said, living with a host family will also ultimately lead to a lot of awkward encounters. This is just inevitable because your host family knows nothing about you and your preferences, so you need to tell them if there is something you do not like or something that you need done for you. This becomes even more awkward at times because it is very uncomfortable to feel like you are telling this family to do things for you, but that is what you all signed up for and your host family understands that! Therefore, if you choose to live in a host family you will need to be willing to handle these awkward situations in order to create a happy living situation for both yourself and your host family. I think another thing I did not consider when choosing to live with a host family is that they have their own life outside of you being there and sometimes it can feel like you are an intruder to their lives. How do you know when it is acceptable for you to be hanging out in the living room with their friends or when they would prefer to have alone time? It is a learning process to be able to understand the dynamics of the family. Similarly, something else I have struggled with is having to learn how to work my plans around my host family’s schedule. I have had to do this because I go home to eat with my host family for every meal, therefore I need to be sure to be home at the times that they eat every day. People in Spain eat a bit later than most Americans are used to, lunch is at 3pm and dinner is at 10pm. So, on days where I have classes, I need to run home to be able to eat at 3pm and then go back to campus for my afternoon classes. The main struggle with this situation is that if there is ever a time that I will not be eating at home with my family, like if I wanted to eat out with friends or am in a rush and don’t have time to come home, I need to let my host mom know at least a day in advance or the morning of. This can become complicated because sometimes my plans are made last minute, but I do not want to inconvenience my host mom by changing her intended dinner plans. It is not a huge deal, but simply another thing to consider when you choose to live with a host family.

Now onto the pros to living with a host family! Most of the cons that I listed can also be considered pros in one way or another because they have helped me learn to deal with unfamiliar circumstances and speak up when I need to. They have also helped me to become more flexible and see that most things I get stressed about are not a huge deal and end up resolved eventually. The culture in Spain is far more laid back than what we are used to in America, as my other friends in this program and I have discussed endlessly. This has helped me to learn to go with the flow and let some things go when they are not super important. Another major benefit to living with a host family is that it really helps combat some of the homesickness I feel sometimes. Coming home to siblings bickering or a mom asking how your day was is a familiar feeling that can ease the anxiety of missing your family back home. In a host family you are fully immersed in the culture of your new home country, which means extra opportunities to practice the new language (in my case Spanish), first-hand experience witnessing the culture, eating real Spanish meals and not just the touristy ones, learning the norms of communication and so on. Personally, I think that my experiences with my host family teaches me a lot. I have had conversations with my host siblings about how the United States is different than Spain and we talk about different TV shows we like and how they’re similar to other ones each other’s home country. This is something I cannot find as frequently just by roaming the streets of Spain. Another major benefit is that I get all my meals provided for me. When you are a college student on a budget, this is an incredible benefit. I would be spending so much more money if I had to be paying for it all myself, whether that meant going out or just buying groceries to cook for myself. Dealing with eating with a host family is not always perfect but knowing how much money it is saving me makes all the difference. Living with my host family is a once in a lifetime experience that I can never recreate once I leave Spain.

Overall, there are pros and cons to living with a host family. Whether that means the decision is worth it is completely up to you. My main piece of advice is simply to consider all the different situations you may encounter in a host family and decide if you think that is something you can handle or would enjoy. A few tips that my friends and I have compiled as we all go through this strange adjustment of living with a Spanish family are as follows:

1. Do not compare your experience to anyone else in your program! Each family has its own dynamic and awkward situations. Focus instead on the good parts of your host family.
2. Do not be afraid to speak up about what you like and don’t like. Your host family knows what they signed up for and will encourage you to be vocal about what you do not like. Tell them from the start to avoid even more complicated situations down the line.
3. Learn to go with the flow! Living with a host family is meant to put you out of your comfort zone, so appreciate the way that things are different in your new lifestyle instead of trying to change everything.
4. Make the most of your family. Ask them lots of questions about life in your host country, about their lives and anything else you can think of. Being in such close quarters with locals is not something you will encounter too often while abroad and bonding with your family can give you a whole new perspective on the country.
5. Make the house feel like home. If putting up a few pictures of your friends and family from home will make your room feel more cozy and welcoming do that because this is going to be your home not just for a few weeks but for a whole semester.
6. Make the most while you can! I have already been in Spain for a month and it has only felt like a few days. Trust me when I say it is going to fly by.